I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
