His hands were made for my vagina.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
