Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
