Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
