I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize