Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
