Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
