He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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