i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
