Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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