I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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