yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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