heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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