I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
