He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
