is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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