You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize