So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
