He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
