If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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