"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
