I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
