i think my tv is drunk
Too much gin, very little bucket
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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