The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
