Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
