i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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