I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
is it fun? or sober?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
