Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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