He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
