You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
