Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
