wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
