What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
