If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
