Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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