either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
