had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
