so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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