my soul wont recognize me after tonight
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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