everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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