I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
