...so i touched it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
