That's intense
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
