yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
