I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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