conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
