and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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