oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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