You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
