ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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