ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize