the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
