dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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