you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
