He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
