Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
