i jhust puked up my retainher.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
