there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
