I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
