Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
